Goodbye, My Lover - Big League Chew Podcast #2

Ladies and gentlemen, we gather here today to announce the impending, and necessary, demise of a 21st century comedy staple. The Office, you were once the clever and deriding college friend everyone wish they had - complete with a nougaty emotional center. Now, you're like my drunk Uncle Burt who slurs, "Ohhhh, lady in the red hat" whenever a pretty girl walks by and can't stop peeing in public.

Unlike Mr. Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli of the previously departed Happy Days, you have not only jumped the shark, you have perfectly executed a blindfolded 540 tail grab corkscrew 720 at 75 MPH while drinking a strawberry banana smoothie and narrowly escaping the outstretched heads and sharp, snapping teeth of the Lernaean water hydra. And while you're not necessarily dead yet, you're another milligram of arterial plaque away from being taken out to Schrute Farms and put out of your misery.  

As a result of your current plight  (a potential mass cast/writer exodus and sliding ratings post-"Goodbye Michael Scott"), we at the Big League Chew Podcast offer you a preemptive eugoogally - you know, a speech one gives at funerals.

Although you did a great job of relieving the tension when things got kinda hard, we can't stay on top of you 24/7. So you need to just blow this party off. No one expected you to last this long. Watching you suffer makes our skin red and swollen. Nevertheless, we will always remember the times you left us smiling and satisfied.

Goodbye, My Lover - Big League Chew Podcast #2